1. What does the Eiffel Tower and a tick have in common?
They are both Paris-Sites (parasites)
2. Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
Incase they get a hole in one.
3. What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved.
4. What did one wall say to the other wall?
"I'll meet you at the corner.
5. What did the zero say to the eight?
That belt looks good on you.
6. What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?
Where's Pop-corn?
7. Where do you learn to make a banana split?
Sundae School
8. What has more letters than the alphabet?
The Post Office
9. How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut
10. Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each other up.
11. Why shouldn't you trust stairs?
They are always up to something.
12. When shouldn't you trust trees?
When they look shady.
13. What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
14. Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well , I'm not going to spread it.
15. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was too tired
16. What did one hat say to the other?
Wait here, I'm going on a-head
17. Why was the graveyard crowded?
People were dying to get in.
17a. Why was the ghost so tired?
He worked the graveyard shift.
18. What time did the man go to the dentist?
2.30 (Tooth-hurty)
19. Why didn't the skeleton climb the mountain?
It didn't have the guts
20. What do you call a snowman throwing a tantrum?
A melt-down
21. What does a bee use to brush his hair?
A honey-comb
21a. Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honey comb
22. How did the penguin build its house?
It glued (igloo) it together
23. Why are elevator jokes so good?
They work on many levels
24. How can you tell if it's a dog-wood tree?
By the bark
25. Why did the coach go to the bank?
To get his quarter back
26. How do celebrities stay cool?
They have many fans.
27. What did the flowers do when the bride walked down the aisle?
They Rose
28. Why did the man loose his job at the bank?
Because he pushed a woman over when she asked him to check her balance.
29. How do you row a boat filled with puppies?
You bring out the doggie-paddle
30. Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
31. What sort of music do chiropractors like?
Hip-Hop
32. What do you call a tooth-less bear?
A gummy bear
33. Why are spiders so smart?
They can find everything on the web
34. What does a house wear?
Address
35. What do you call an unpredictable camera?
A loose cannon
36. Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?
It's pointless
37. How do you weigh a millennial ?
In instagrams
38. What do you call a fat psychic?
A four-chin teller
39. What did the police officer say to the belly button?
You're under a vest
40. What do you call a company run by apes?
Monkey Business
41. What did the baker say when she won an award?
It was a piece of cake.
42. What vegetable is kind to everyone?
The sweet potato
43. What did the geometry teacher say when the class couldn't work out the problem?
Lets try a different angle.
44.
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